Where do all the pencils go?

In just one two-week period this year, my son managed to lose 12 new carefully labelled HB pencils - that's more than one every school day.

Then there was the Pokemon cards that disappeared before little lunch the first day they went to school.

Shoes, socks, hats, bags, lunchboxes, drink bottles, ice bricks, homework books - you name it - no matter how well it is labelled a vortex sucks the items in. Sometimes the items are spat out again days, weeks or years later. Often they are gone for good.

So if the items find their way into another child's bag doesn't anyone at home notice? If not, where do they end up?

One mystery was solved this week. A school jumper turned up at a bus stop about 10 kilometres from home. A very nice man found it and phoned the mobile number on the iron-on label.
How sweet is that? His explanation "well, I'd appreciate it if someone found my kid's stuff that they let me know".

The jumper is now safely home - apparently having made the little trek to Alderley on a bus ferrying kids to interschool sports last week.

Sex sells, hugs and kisses clearly don't

Parental pressure forced the removal of billboards asking "want longer lasting sex?".

Only a few weeks ago, after a public outcry, the sex was gone and replaced with some X O X which as any child knows stands for hugs and kisses

But apparently the largesse of AMI Australia is no more.

Sex is back on at least two large billboards within a couple of kilometres of each other on Brisbane's northside.

One can only assume that parental concerns will be considered as long as it is economically convenient to do so. Shame.

O what a tangled web we weave.....

.....when first we fail to proof read.

After weeks of rehearsals and 14 performances, the curtain finally fell on Brisbane Arts Theatre's production of Charlotte's Web this weekend. The celebrations following the final production included the presentation of the traditional production T Shirt. And a beautiful thing it was too - shame no-one had proof read it. O dear.

Wee problem in otherwise terrific program

What a brilliant idea idea - fitness sessions in parks with separate programs for toddlers and parents, primary school kids and active parents - all paid for by the council.
Families have embraced the Kids Sports program and at the Friday afternoon Nundah session at least, scores of people benefit from the council keep-fit initiative.
But the biggest exercise for many was the two hundred metre dash to the trees or the long distance leg crossing. The park's public toilets were firmly bolted.
Urging families to a come to a council park and not unlocking the toilets is just bad planning.
It also goes to show that you can't believe everything you read - the national public toilet map says the public toilet in question is open 24 hours a day.

Testing times for students

I really hope the information our governments and schools get from the literacy and numeracy tests is worth the anguish.
It is hard to argue against tests which according to the NAPLAN website "will provide information on how students are progressing against national benchmarks and support improvements in teaching and learning".
But just how good is the information and just how much angst do we cause in the process?
The problem with locking student as young as 7 in a room and setting them to work is that there are so many variables. A child with poor literacy skills may fail a numeracy test because he or she can't read the question. A child who can read well can still do poorly in literacy tests if his or her ability to write at speed is impaired.
And that's before you even start taking into account whether the student is anxious or has eaten a good breakfast or had a good night's sleep.
A good classroom teacher can identify and explain these variables. A national test blind marked can not.
Parents are reporting children are fretting, unable to sleep and unable to eat because of the stress - and these are kids who are aged from 7.
They can be reassured that nothing bad will happen to them if they do poorly. Unfortunately, however, the entry criteria of many private high schools is based at least in part on the results of Year 5 tests.
No wonder the kids are stressed. These are indeed testing times.

Merchandising madness

The classifiers have rated it M, warning of moderate action violence and advising that its suitability is for children aged 15 and over.
The merchandisers, on the other hand, have determined the suitability of the Ironman franchise at age 4.
There is something insane about the continuing lawful marketing of products based on adult material at very young children.
Next to this costume on the shelf was a Pirates of the Caribbean outfit for a three-year-old. Why? Because they can.
The only way to stop this madness is to boycott the products.
A four-year-old doesn't have the purchasing power. We do and it's time we started exercising it by just saying 'no'.

To Mother with love

What a perfect way to spoil mum this Mothers Day - with a set of gardening tools.
The marketing is in overdrive - and the words treat, spoil and pamper are being tossed around liberally.
Apparently sending mum out to work in the garden with a new set of tools, into the kitchen with a new microwave, or the office with a new printer is the perfect way to let her know you love her.
Mothers Day is essentially an invention of the greeting card companies but there is nothing wrong with taking stock and remembering to tell those nearest and dearest to us that they are nearest and dearest to us.
But with gardening tools......?
Pampering involves a personal masseuse not a personal microwave.
But really it doesn't need to involve wads of cash. The hand-made card, the sleep-in and the breakfast in bed (even if the toast is cold, slightly mangled and smothered in Vegemite) show love much more than spending big.
Open your heart, not your wallet (well, if you insist a pair of winter PJs would be okay too!)

The worst of both worlds

I am not sure what is worse - the deliberate false advertising or the punctuation.

We were all told that Hannah Montana: Best of Both Worlds movie was a "Limited 1-Week Engagement Only • At Select 3-D Cinemas March 20". Now it is in week six and counting.

Announcing the extended season the Greater Union Cinema chain manages not one but two misplaced apotrophes. Ouch