Drinking game rules well below par

Obviously the responsible drinking message is totally failing to get through, if the annual KMPG pub golf classic being held next Friday is anything to go by. The classic, which is not sanctioned by either the company or the social club, comes with advice that "As mature adults we all know our limits, so please be conscious of this while participating in this event. Refer to the responsible drinking guide attached".

Yet the rules include such gems as "disqualification will occur if you pass out (including hospitalisation)" and you are awarded points for sculling drinks in one go. I may be getting old but this just seems grossly irresponsible.

Part I: General Gameplay

The Tank 5.30pm

Pig n Whistle (left hand hole) 6.30pm

Fridays 7.15pm

Jade Buddha 8pm

Belgian Beer Café (clean play) 8.30pm

Port Office 9pm

Union Jack’s (bunker hole) 9.30pm

Gilhooley’s 10 pm

O’Malley’s (caddy hole) 10.30pm

Winners presentation 11.30pm

1. Players will be scored according to the number of standard drinks consumed at each hole (1 point per standard drink).

2. Dress is casual, but must include a golfing item (for example: diamond vests, long socks, grandpa hats, Michael Jackson one gloves, golfing tees or golf balls).

3. All players must record their score at each hole on their scorecards, and have a fellow competitor sign-off on this score as independent verification.

Part II: Bonus Points

· Hole-in-one: downing a drink in one go, excluding alcoholic shots (1 extra point);

· Golf trivia: correct answer to any golf trivia as posed by a referee (1 extra points); and

· Other golfing games: victory in any ad hoc golfing games as referees order during the event (1 extra point).

Part III: Penalties

Players will have points deducted for non-compliance with any of the following:

· Poor swing: players must comply with the minimum drinking requirements detailed in General Gameplay, Paragraph 4 (forfeiture of points for drinks not consumed);

· Water hazard: players cannot go to the toilet at any hole deemed a water hazard (4 point penalty);

· Left-hand hole: players must not hold their drink in their right hand at any time during a hole deemed to be a left-handed hole (3 point penalty);

· Bunker: players must drink one alcoholic shot at a hole deemed to have a bunker (3 point penalty);

· Caddy: players must hold onto another player (with at least one hand) for the duration of any holes deemed to have a caddy (2 point penalty);

· Clean Play: players must refrain from using un-gentlemanly or un-ladylike language that is not in the spirit of the event (2 point penalty);

· Tactical vomiting: players must not attempt to tactically discharge vomit at any point of the game so as to gain an unfair advantage (5 point penalty); and

· Contravention of dress code: players must comply with dress code requirements detailed in General Gameplay, Paragraph 3 (3 point penalty).

Part IV: Disqualification

Players will be instantly eliminated from the competition for any of the following:

· Attempting to pass off a beverage to other competitors as alcoholic when it is not;

· Passing out (including hospitalisation); or

· Damage to other golfers or spectators equipment, as photos will be taken during play.

Part V: The Winners

· There will be one male winner and one female winner.

· Winners will be the male and female with the highest score at the conclusion of Hole 9.

Part VI: The Prize

· Exclusive year-long rights to the KPMG Masters Green Jacket (for the gentlemen’s competition) or the Pink Jacket (for the ladies’ competition);

· A limited edition Masters trophy cup, which can only be accepted after each winner consumes its contents (which will be whatever any of the ‘losers’ decide to pour into it); and

· Eternal glory.